Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
