I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
