She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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