She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
