The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
