I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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