glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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