please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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