But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
