it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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