i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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