Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize