After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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