new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
