somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
