you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
