just tell him i said nine months
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
