Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
