So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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