We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
