Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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