i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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