Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
