God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
