Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you made out with another girl for some wings
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
