Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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