I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
