It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they need to just BURY HIM!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
