i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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