let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
