Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
