So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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