Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize