guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
