i barfeds in our rink
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
