PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
