i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
