i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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