But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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