At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
