i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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