you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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