I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
