another moral hangover. fuck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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