If i come over, it means nothing
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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