I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
