Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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