I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
