too bad you live with your parents still
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
