This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
