he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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