all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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