I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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