AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
