I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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