READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize