How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That's intense
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
areolas are like halos for boobs.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
