I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize