it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
