I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
