Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
