i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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