Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love having hate sex.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
