she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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