So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
