No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
