Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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