just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
