whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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