We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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