I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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