We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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