did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
